aimlessness

this post has no purpose other than to get a few things off my mind, aimlessness

i registered for a half marathon on friday, good thing my knees are killing me...glucosamine chondroitin, biofreeze and advil will be my new best friends now. regardless, i'm excited about running 13.1 miles!

i'm really really REALLY miserable at work. i try not to talk about work on this thing b/c of employer snooping, but i'm miserable. mostly b/c i hate wasting 1.5 hours of my day in my car. that's 7.5 hours a week i'm just driving. i won't even go there with how much i spend on gas. so i spend all that time and money driving to go sit in my freezing cold cube to do nothing. i pray and pray and pray for a new job. i'm torn btw. praying for "God's will" and just flat out asking specifically for what i want. but i believe we should be specific and dang it i am being specific and i'm still driving and hating work. HATE IT! and why does it seem that everyone around me is just as happy as they can be and i can't even find the desire to be happy anymore, not until i get a new job. i know this sounds ridiculous. but let's examine this. most days i wake up at 5:30 and go to bed around 10, that's 16.5 hours i am awake. if i start counting the time i leave for work until the time i get home 10.5 hours are spent related to my job each day so that's 52.5 hours a working week out of 82.5 a working week that i am in my job. that's a huge percentage. life is too short to be miserable that many hours each working week.

moving on. i really really love this weather. it's amazing. it's been so nice lately. our windows are open and sleeping with windows open makes for the best sleep. i run in this great neighborhood with great old houses and little kids that play outside and dogs bark at me and i can smell dinner being cooked and now the leaves crunch beneath each step. it's the most glorious time for me. i don't run with music anymore, i don't even know what i think about, i just clear my head. but i was thinking the other day how i wish i could go trick or treating and i'm a little more envious of children.

i'm so confused, if you have any idea what i should do with my life other than check facebook like it's my job please let me know.